Life After Dad – Mum and I

My relationship with Mum

I love my mum very much , however, her bluntness and forgetfulness can come across rude, but, saying that our relationship is much closer since Dad passed away. I see mum most Sundays and I ring her almost daily (this was mum’s request as she feared if anything happened to her no one would know for days)

My Parents.

Mum and Dad married in June 1968, my sister, Yvonne, was born August 1969 and I followed June 1972. Dad suffered with osteoarthritis and in 1994 gave up work(redundancy) from that moment on Mum and Dad were never a part, if you saw Dad then mum wouldn’t be far behind …. they did everything together. Dad took care of all aspects of home life, cooking, finances, the garden etc. until the last six months of his life. Dad’s goal was to reach his 50th Wedding Anniversary with Mum ……sadly he didn’t even reach their 49th anniversary, he died three months before at the age of 69. 

Dad, Me (in dads arms) & my sister

Mum caregiver to Dad.

Mum was an amazing caregiver to Dad especially in his last few months (gosh tears are rolling down my face just thinking about it) she barely slept but still managed to sort Dad’s medications with ease and was very knowledgeable of each drug. Dad would occasionally snap at mum but she never responded she just let him vent his frustrations and sadness. Mum never left his side until he drew his last breath.

Mum coping After Dad.

Mum has coped fairly well since his death, She has surprised me! Mum is now dealing with life after Dad and I am relieved she is keeping very active. Some of her activities include the garden club and going for walks and going out with her friend, Lynn. Mum has a few friends that either visit or she visits them but there is one Dear Friend i would like to mention, his name is Ian….. 

A Good Friend.

Ian was my Dad’s Friend, he is a lovely, thoughtful, helpful and funny chap and was a dear friend to Dad. When Dad became really Poorly and unable to drive Ian would pick him and mum up and take them out, no matter the time Ian would drop everything if Dad needed taking to hospital, especially in an emergency. Dad thought very highly of Ian so I wasn’t surprised to find out Dad had asked him to watch out for Mum, and continue taking her out for trips to the garden centre and cafes after he was gone. Ian has kept his promise, A BIG THANK YOU IAN.

Mum’s Health

Two years after losing Dad my mum was now facing her own health issues. Mum had a pacemaker fitted in her fifties and was reasonably healthy until early last year. I’m not going to mention every scan and test but results of these tests show mum had cancer in her caecum and on top of that required a stent for her heart problem too.

Life moves on.

When dad passed away I was and still am devastated, I miss him very, very much, but, life has to move on and now the thought of not having my mum around scares me, even at My age (48) I still need my mum. 

Surgery

Mum is under Two different hospitals which are In different trusts, this complicated things as her stent procedure was in Grimsby and her cancer surgery at Boston, so some communications got lost and we needed to correct them. In the end mum had her stent procedure in October 2019 and her bowel surgery December 2019 (bowel surgery was delayed due to her medication required after her stent procedure)

Living with me

Mum came to stay with me whilst she recovered from her surgery and stayed for four weeks.  Not long after Due to Covid 19 we decided it was best for mum to stay with us before the first lockdown was announced. Mum lived with us until 3rd July.  

I must say, mum enjoyed her stay as she was very well looked after and enjoyed her many walks around the farm and participating in tiktok!

Mum is now facing another worry, still waiting to be seen by a consultant for a large lump in her stomach, because of Covid no appointment has come through 8 weeks on.
When she did speak to them their guess was she has a hernia. We pray they are right.


I don’t know how long any of us have left in this world but one thing for sure I’m going to enjoy every moment with my Mum, my family, and my friends.

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