And another and another and so on! I’m sure many of you are like me when having a photo taken of yourself. For me it’s usually my tummy looks big, my face looks fat or I just look fat all over, leaving me to take endless photos at different angles just to find the right one! Of course I’m only fooling myself because the first pictures are the true me. However, these feelings happen more when I know I’ve gained weight and very unhappy with my body image. (more so in the past couple of years). 

I start wearing different types of clothes to hide my weight gain and black becomes my new favourite colour of clothing. As I mentioned in my earlier article ~ What Happened ~ I suffered with bulimia for many years and was on Prozac to help, which it did and was able to stop taking my medication at 27 when I felt I was in control of my eating, for almost 20yrs I maintained a happy, healthy weight, although dieting constantly I was content with my figure.  

I’m currently trying to diet but it’s disastrous at the moment, I have not lost any weight at all. My two sons are currently at home because of school closure and home schooling again. I also have my 73yr old mum living with me at the moment too.  I am so busy looking after the household, feeding My husband, my three children and mum I barely eat in the day myself, this leads to eating way too much in the evening. It’s not healthy either, I’m so tired I end up snacking because I can’t be bothered to cook for myself.

“I feel I’m trying to climb out of a deep hole, nearly reaching the top but I slip and fall right back in.”

So now we are heading into Christmas, phones will be out constantly and I will be avoiding looking at any photos that I am in – AGAIN! My diet resumes next week and hopefully when Sebastian goes back to school on the 7th December and Dominic on the 10th I will get into a healthier routine.  

Photos are precious memories to keep but when looking back on what you were they can cause distress. I continue with my weight battle but also need to be extra careful I don’t slip into my old ways of getting to my desired weight. I know only to well how bulimia can easily consume you and take over your life, putting an awful strain on your body .