Hitting a Brick Wall
Today I have well and truly hit a brick wall, I am not just tired, I am exhausted, I don’t just ache I am in pain, I am not just hungry I am starving.
Exhausted
Getting up at 4.30am 5 days a week so I can do my daily chores and activities has caught up with me. Today I had to go for a nap as my eyes were so heavy I could barely keep awake. Thankfully it’s half-term next week so I can relax a little… No Homeschooling – Yay!!
In Pain
I have a prominent vein in my right foot which is becoming increasingly painful when walking on the treadmill. The pain in my joints are terribly sore and I ache all over although this is down to living with Parkinson’s, I have had a bad day with my symptoms.
Starving
Today I was craving any type of food I shouldn’t eat, I even took a piece of cheesecake out of freezer thinking I would eat it but I refrained from doing so. I have felt hungry all day and apart from one small bite of a bueno I have kept to my healthy diet BUT tomorrow I’ve decided I’m taking a day off, I will not deprive myself. I need this, just one day to boost and pick myself up again.
Weigh in
I have lost another pound this week which means I have lost a stone in total since 1st of January. My measurements remain the same. I knew my weight loss would slow down I expected it but on days like today it’s a little hard to bare after depriving myself for a solid 6 weeks.
Give up – Hell No!
People that know me know that I am stubborn and determined when I set myself a task, if I say I am going to do something then I will. My body is failing me yes but I am doing everything in my power to slow down that process by pushing myself. I must say since my diagnosis I do feel the need to succeed, I Wish I could feel ‘Normal’ again in the sense of having a fully working body but sadly that will never happen but giving up is not an option or a path I will be going down.
Johnny Parky update
Johnny has had a difficult couple of weeks and here at Focused Friends we wish him well. We hope to see you back soon Johnny full of enthusiasm.
So there you go it happened I hit a brick wall. I will learn from this, I will accept it and move on. Tomorrow is a new day, a day where I will allow myself to ( reasonably) enjoy some of my favourite foods and relax. I deserve one day off !
Focused Friends 
Tracy- you are doing amazingly well, you sound like you are about to give up… but your strength wont let you do that… indulge yourself with something nice today – perhaps you will find that is just what you need – and as you say- tomorrow is another day. You are such an inspiration. On the other hand , your body is saying It needs a rest. I wish you well in your choices xx
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Thank you Jenny for your lovely comment of support. It’s 4pm on Sunday and I soon will enjoy a Thai Curry, a healthy curry yes but I plan to have some garlic bread to go with it. Then a dessert of lemon cheesecake, it’s funny I’m not a sweet tooth person but I seem to crave it right now. Tomorrow I will be back on track but I so needed today.
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