Have you ever had a moment of panic over a password? Yesterday I wanted to add a paragraph to a story that I am writing. I went into my Phone to open the piece I’m working on. For some reason it did not recognize my face in the facial recognition. Which is how I would normally unlock the material.
I realized that my daughter had added her face as an alternate face to my phone so that she could have access to my phone in the event of an emergency. Which I thought was a very good idea. I do have Parkinson’s and there might come a time when she needs to use my phone to call someone for help. My daughter is eight. But this little change in the facial recognition meant that it threw everything else off. I kept having to reset different parts of my phone that required my facial recognition. It doesn’t just get used for opening the phone.
Most annoyingly was the fact that I could not get into my locked notes. I kept putting in different passwords that I thought might work. I started to panic after about 30 minutes. The hint that I set up for my phone wasn’t even a clear hint that I would be able to remember the password. I had a mental block and I started to panic that I was going to lose many items that I had put into my phone. Everything is backed up in other places but sometimes I will get an idea for something and add to my story or a poem or a password. So I knew I could access the material but just not the updated material at this time. Plus I just find it extremely annoying that I should not be able to change the password easily without losing the material. I fought with it for a good long time and then decided I should let it go and go out to the garage and work on a table that I am stripping.
I changed out of my pyjamas into a T-shirt and some panties and was about to get fully dressed when the doorbell rang. It was early in the morning and I wasn’t expecting anybody. So I quickly threw on my painting pants and ran down to the door. It was a lady looking for some chairs. Which is kind of funny because I actually recognized this person. She’d been to my home before when I gave away a set of chairs. And she was kind of a cuckoo bird. Very New Age, full of ideas and laughter and love and light. But I had no chairs for her. She was looking for our neighbors. But because she had been to my home before her GPS guided her to my house as it had before.
We had a good laugh that she been at my house before and that she was looking for the people that live next-door.
She said to me as she was getting ready to walk away “Well there must be a reason I’m here. Do you need anything today?”
I really don’t know what it is about me, but in the last few months I have had several people come up to me to ask me questions like this. Why am I here talking to you now? What do you need from me? There was a lady at the recycling centre one day. She stopped and turned around and said to me “Are you Margaret?” I had no idea I was going to the recycle depot that day. It was a last minute thing. So it’s not like anyone was expecting me. I answered yes I was Margaret. She said “don’t worry everything’s going be OK. You’ve got a lot to look forward to.” I looked at her with this puzzled look on my face. Why would she say this to me? She could see the puzzlement on my face. She said “well I don’t know you and I’ve never met you but I have a gift and when I turned around and saw you I knew who you were and I knew something about you.” I wanted to ask more but I felt a little creeped out. She told me that she was a psychic. She just wanted to let me know that I was going to be OK.
In January I was with my husband and the kids and we were walking along a dock at the lake near our house. Just out for a stroll we didn’t have a destination in mind. My daughter likes to look at the boats so we ran out to the dock and meandered around. Just enjoying the fresh air and the beautiful morning. I was sitting watching my daughter, taking a few photographs, and a lady came up to me and said “are you M?” Which I thought she meant the short version of the word Emma. So I replied “no I’m sorry I’m not Emma”. she said “no the letter M“. I said my name and my last name both start with that letter but I didn’t tell her what the name was. And she said to me “ I am here to tell you not to worry.” Again that look of puzzlement on my face. (It’s probably a good thing I don’t use Botox because no one would ever know what I’m thinking. I definitely wear my expressions on my face. My son Eugi is the same way. You always know what he’s thinking.). Don’t worry? Do I look worried I thought. I don’t feel worried.
She told me that as she was walking she felt the need to find the woman whose name started with an M and to express to her they need to not be afraid. OK so that’s a generalization and I’m sure she checked with everybody along the way looking for the person whose name started with M. Or anybody she could find that had that initial. But again why did these things happen to me? What is it about me that makes these women come out and find me and make these expressions?
Meanwhile Tina, the lady with the trailer looking for chairs, was waiting for me to say what do I need from her today?
In my mind the first thought was well a cure for Parkinson’s would be great. But of course I didn’t say that. But I did say, and I have no clue why I involve her in this, “ The password for my locked items in my phone would be nice.”
Again why do I get myself into these situations? But she said to me “how about you stop thinking about it for a little while. And just go and be. And it will come to you. You’re putting to much pressure and you’re blocking yourself.” So we talked a little bit about the silliness of my hint question. And she said to me it sounds to me like you know the answer but maybe there’s an extension that you forgotten about. And the lightbulb went off! I knew the answer. I grabbed my phone typed it in and Voila!
At that her time with me was finished and she needed to go get her chairs.
I later in the morning sent her a note on the old message exchange we had had over some previous chairs. I thanked her for stopping by and being there when I needed her. Because you really should thank people in life for helping you and stopping to take a moment to find out what you need from them.
Those other two ladies, well I’m not sure how to thank them for giving me a sense of peace. Because on both of those days they did that. I was in a calm mood anyway. But it felt nice to know that I could just relax and not worry. Maybe that’s all it was. A way to calm my heart and let me know that I could just continue on as I always have. Happy and never anxious or worried about what my life is going to be. Living in the moment and not being sorry for that. Because really do we have control over anything but the moment that we are in? No amount of planning or regret has an affect. Regret does nothing about the past and plans, well we can make all the plans we want but we don’t have control over what’s going to happen to us in the future.
Now this moment is over also. It’s time to get moving and find some productive moments in my day. Because that’s what I do. I move and produce.