All Change. Mind the Gap.

As I sit here at my desk at home, at just after 1am, I can hear the rumble of the elctric fire that is next to me in the bedroom. It belonged to my late mother, who very sadly passed away in 2020. The little glow of orange light brings me great comfort on a rather cold night. I am reminded of my mum’s smile, her voice and her laughter, as I see the fire’s orange glow. This is comforting to me, at this time. Life has been challenging for the last couple of years, for me, as I know it has been for pretty much everyone since the Covid pandemic emerged in our societies.

This year, the first months of this year have also been tough. My mother-in-law very sadly passed away. She has left a big hole in our hearts and we miss her dearly. This felt too soon after the loss of my own mother, as I just mentioned.

Also, I have brought to an end a, largely, beautiful and wonderful twenty-five year long relationship; the last six years of which were in marriage with my husband, Kevin. Even the very best of relationships reach a point at which what they were changes.

I think that when life delivers enough major events to face, each person goes through a certain amount of change and this, where a relationship is concerned, can see change taking two people in slightly different directions. Needs change. Wants change.

Photo by RODNAE Productions on

This has been the most dreadfully painful experience but one that Kevin and I have largely handled with maturity. If you have been through the ending of a long term relationship or marriage, then you will appreciate the difficulty and the pain that comes at such a point, in life.

My life is, indeed, now going to take a new direction. In not much more than a week, I will be starting the first phase of a transition to a new life in France; commencing with three months there. I will then return to England, due to Brexit rules, and I will reflect on my three months in France. All going well, I will then embark upon a next step towards a long term future in France. I will not go into details about all of this, here, for now. What I will say is that this gives me an opportunity to write about my adventures in Strasbourg, France.

Photo by Ahmet KAYNARPUNAR on

So, over the next few months, please do revisit this site and catch up with my articles, as I begin to tell the story of the next part of my life. My adventures in France which, hopefully, will be a joyful and vibrant experience, though I will of course still carry the powerful sadness of a recent and heartfelt ending, as well.

Life is sometimes so very deeply and painfully hard. Making decisions that are true to onesself does not come without cost. I am a believer that if you are true to yourself, then what you decide will only be the right thing for all concerned, eventually. I believe that when one is not true to onesself, then this only stores up problems for all concerned, down the line.

I will do my best to impart my experience of beautiful France, through my words here in these posts. For now, I need to continue packing and getting organised for my travels. I will update Focused Friends very soon, with a new entry about my first steps towards a new life.

If anyone reading this has recently found his/her/them self ending a relationship and making changes, I know that you will have been through a painful ordeal, as will your former partner. I wish you all peace and eventual happiness.

If you would like to share something of your own story, in the comments below, then please do.

2 thoughts on “All Change. Mind the Gap.

Add yours

  1. I am so sorry for your losses this past year. It has been hard enough with Covid. I wish blessings in your new chapter in life. I look forward to reading more of your adventures. (hugs)


    1. Hi Kathy, Thank you for your kind message. Yes, I’m sure that the last couple of years have been hard for many people. I see many people making big changes, after this period of turmoil. I hope things are well, with you. Stay safe and well. Thanks for reading and for taking the time to comment.
      Deano. 😊


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